8 | Think Positive(ly)!
I’ve been wanting to write about positive thinking for a while, and today I have the time to do it. Hurrah! I want to begin by giving you this quote, “genes can predispose, but they don’t predetermine.” (Physician Gabor Mate). It’s a powerful quote if you ask me. If you have certain genes, you may be more likely to get certain diseases or conditions, but it’s not set in stone, it’s not predetermined. I refer back to this quote quite often to get myself motivated because it makes me realise that things don’t have to be the way they are, I can actually do something about it. I often remind myself of it when going through negative phases in life and it encourages me to think positively and live proactively.
Here are my top 12 tips:
THINK POSITIVE – it all starts with having the right mentality. If you’re surrounded by the “I can’t” mentality, then you need to focus your efforts on first freeing yourself from it. Replace this with something that has a positive twist, go with something like, “I can”, “I’ll try” or “I’ll give it my best shot” or whatever your favourite phrase is. Such positive phrases should be incorporated into your day-to-day conversations too. For example, if asked, “how are you?”, you can say, “not bad” or something like, ‘yeah, great”. The first response has what I call a ‘double negative’; the word ‘not’ and ‘bad’ both have negative implications. On the contrary, ‘yeah, great’ has much more positive connotations.
You’re obviously not going to transform overnight, maybe you can (who knows, think possible!), so don’t let negative emotions drown you. Initially, the aim is to stay afloat, and as you gradually get better at shifting to a positive mindset, you learn to swim away from negative thought that are the waves of destruction.AFFIRMATION EXERCISES – with affirmation exercises, you simply repeat to yourself words or sentences that evoke positive thoughts. For example, as I sat to write this blog, I repeated to myself, “I am going to write 1000 words in one sitting and it’s going to be fun”. After a few repetitions, I was eager to crack on. A few times in between, I clenched my fists and whispered under my breath, “you’ve got this, come on!” …little did the people in the coffee shop know I was just trying to evoke some positivity – oh well, I actually ended up writing more than I expected. Bonus!
SELF-DIAGNOSIS – You need to think rationally when approaching the concept of positive-thinking. Everything that happens in our daily lives influences the way we think and feel – and some of these have negative effects. So you need to sit down with a pen and paper and ask yourself, “what are the sources of negativity in my life?” Take a good look at that list and see if you can condense it down to just three or four points -call these the ‘main sources of negativity in my life’. These could be things like friends (not trying to break friendships here), social media or TV shows. Anyway, whatever it may be, you now need to make a new list, this time on actions you’re going to take over the next few weeks/months to tackle the negativity.
BE CONTENT – you may not be a millionaire, but you have shelter and food. You may not be an athlete, but you’re fit and healthy. You don’t own a Tesla, but you get from A to B just as fast. When I feel down or demotivated, I compare myself to others. Think of the millions, if not billions, of people that are worse off than you, who simply don’t have the same opportunities. This will make you more thankful for what you have, and suddenly your problems will seem rather insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And to motivate yourself, think of the people that are better than you. How did they get to where they are? Most of them started off in a similar place and managed to climb the ladder. Don’t become envious, instead, show admiration and a genuine interest in wanting to achieve similar, if not better things.
So, when you feel down or discouraged, don’t even attempt to wage war on yourself and the whole universe. You will never win. Show humility and gratitude. You don’t wage war except when you’re out of touch with yourself, out of equilibrium.SEEK INSPIRATION – look around yourself for a moment; cars, traffic lights, cameras, aeroplanes, tall buildings, road markings, bicycles, scooters, clothes, bridges, landscapes, phones, laptops, tablets…it just doesn’t end. How did they all get here? There is a story behind it all. Don’t just be a heedless consumer. Lift the veils and read the stories behind it. Read the autobiographies of the great inventors, scientists, doctors, musicians, activists, athletes, lecturers and peacemakers. Read inspirational articles and blogs, listen to podcasts, watch documentaries. Feed your excitement and get inspired. Aspire to inspire before you expire (can’t remember where I got this from).
KEEP MOVING – exercising increases blood flow to the brain, increasing mental alertness. I have convinced myself that the increased blood flow washes away the negative thoughts and gives you a clean slate to work with. Even a short 20–30-minute exercise is enough to release the tension and refocus your mind, giving you the ability to deal with stressful events.
OPTIMISE HOW YOU RESPOND – think for a minute, a problem has presented itself and it’s stressing you out; is this problem going to be there in 3 years’ time or is it something that’s going to be pass in 3 weeks’ time? In other words, don’t make something bigger it is, direct your energy to more meaningful things.
YOUR MEANINGFUL PHRASE/S – For me, the ultimate goal is to be happy with what every it is that I do. I have a bank of quotes, poems and phrases that I look back at every now and again for inspiration and motivation to get things done. Words move bodies. Words are powerful, they can even change one’s mood and outlook in life.
If I am trying to write an essay or a new blog, I may get a quote about perseverance and stick on my desk, and I will leave it there until I get the work done. If I am embarking on a long project, I may take out a quote on hard work, on patience, on success etc. I always have two simple quotes written on a white board above my desk, and it reads, “this is going to be fun” and “have trust and remain steadfast”. It sounds so simple, but it works – no wonder why Abraham Lincoln said,
“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be”.
IT’S NOT THE TIME, YET – a cherry tree is bare in the winter months, blooming in the spring, and fruitful in the summer. If you’re going through the winter months of your life, stop worrying about the fruits, keep working towards the summer, it’s all going to pay off. Don’t let the transient negative phases take your eyes off the positive phases up ahead. Just remain patient for a while longer. The fact that we have to wait a little for something is probably an indication that we’re not quite ready for it just yet.
Remember, good things do not come to those who just wait, but to those who persevere.LET IT BE – you’ve planned to go out on a picnic. You turn up in your sandals with your shades on, looking all cool. You put the mat out, open up the cool box, take out a few snacks and before you take your first bite, baaam!, thunders strike and it begins to rain…heavy! Your face contorts, shade come off, eyes shut, a deep breath and you start, “can I just not have a **** day where it can go according to the **** @$£@%$^&^@&*@” You look across the field and see the other picnic-goers, up and dancing in the rain (ugh, this level of cheese is too much, even for me), having a good ‘ol time. “Aha”, you say, “they seem to be enjoying themselves despite the rain…I don’t hear them complaining. I need to think like them”.
When things develop beyond your control, don’t throw your toys out of the pram, try adapting to the situation. You can either leave and grieve or adapt and achieve.CHANGE ROUTES – there are many routes to the same destination, if one doesn’t work, try the next one. There’s no point beating yourself over a mistake; successful people have more mistakes than successes. If you’re trying one method and not getting anywhere with it, don’t waste your time repeating it, have no fear in changing your methods. Changing your plans does not mean giving on your goals, not does equate to failure, you’re just taking sensible steps and taking another route.
WIN-WIN APPROACH – it’s all a journey. If things don’t go your way, that’s fine, but at least take something from it. Take some lessons, what did you learn? What could have done differently? What do you wish you had known? How could you apply it to your life? See it as organic process, in which negative things do occur, but you can either let the negativity overflow and take over your life, or you adapt and turn things in your favour.
Onwards and upwards, 🚀
Enes.